(Tallinn's crazy nightlife is out of proportion to the city's small size. The days of armed mafiosos are (mostly) over and these days any drunken fights tend to involve British stag parties. Exercise some caution in choosing your venue, as some strip clubs and regular clubs make their money by fleecing tourists who come in for a drink. In local places, beers cost €2-3.)
Depeche Mode Baar, ( Nunne 4).
Never underestimate the popularity of Depeche Mode in Eastern Europe. Largely ignored in the UK - where they are considered as synth-poppers who ignominiously refused to go away long after their shelf-life was up (ie. 1985) - the boys from Basildon are worshipped as rock Gods anywhere East of Berlin. That might help Westerners understand why Depeche Mode Baar exists, which seems as curious a concept to us as Club Whitesnake (don't get any ideas!). Anyway if you've always wanted to get pissed with a bunch of strangers and sing along to 'Enjoy the Silence' then this is the place for you.
Hell Hunt, ( Pikk 39).
The name is a bit deceptive for those of us unversed in Estonian: No this is not a death metal or biker bar. Translating in English as 'The Gentle Wolf,' Hell Hunt is the kind of no-nonsense place that is becoming so rare, it's a relief to find. Ideal for having a casual drink with your friends or getting pissed into the wee hours, the open, unpretentious atmosphere pulls in tons of locals and expats alike. Despite changing owners a while back, Hell Hunt maintained its style, clientele and superb kitchen, while continuing to be generally tourist free - due we suppose to the fact that the punters are too lazy to stagger another five minutes when they could just stay at Molly Malone's. Here you'll also find a true Guinness as well as the pub's own brand of light and dark beers. Good and cheap.
Molly Malone's, (Mundi 2).
Even if you don't like Irish pubs, there's every chance you'll pop into Molly Malone's at least once for a pint of the black stuff during your time in Tallinn. Why? Because it occupies the best location of any bar in the city, right on the sun-soaked Raekoja Plats opposite the Old Town Hall. The perfect place to nurse a hangover whilst tucking in to Molly's famous breakfast - served for your convenience around the clock. Big screen TVs, live bands at the weekends and WiFi internet access further enhance Molly's already ample assets.
Beer House, ( Dunkri 5).
Sprawled out in the middle of town, Beer House doesn't go unnoticed. Wooden tables that come into the street, sturdy full-bosomed waitresses in costume, and yokely folk music (which is likely to agitate more than appeal) are just some of the more overt ways this place has tried to create the atmosphere of a Bavarian beer hall. The droves of tourists attest to its easy success, while a cheesy disco upstairs seems to attract young Russians. Despite the kitsch, the beer is good and comes in seven unfiltered, unpasteurised varieties, which this establishment is bold enough to claim is good for you in moderation.
Nimeta Bar, (Suur-Karja 4).
Yes, we know the whole point of travelling abroad is to experience new cultures, meet new people and to sample something different from your nightlife... But sometimes you just can't be dealing with these crazy foreigners and their crazy foreign ways! What you want is a good old British boozer, with cheap beer, a happy hour, decent bar food, and a big sports screen - so that you can watch the FA Cup whilst your mates traipse round the whole city trying to sort out tickets to St. Petersburg (...for example). In these cases the Nimeta bar provides an invaluable taste of home.
Hollywood, ( Vana-Posti 8).
The main difference between Hollywood, California and Hollywood, Tallinn is there are more fit girls in the latter. Which is probably why it's always packed to the rafters with wannabee Lotharios, keen to impress. Unlike some other cheesy discos though, Hollywood is not trying to be something it's not. The music is dancefloor friendly, the atmosphere frisky and hedonistic and it's difficult not to have fun - especially if you do manage to strike up a conversation with that leggy blonde! If you're one of those club snobs that bangs on about 'musical integrity' and the like then you probably won't like this place... But then who invited you anyway?
Cafe VS, (Parnu mnt. 28).
One look at the decor is enough to tell you Cafe VS is not your average bar. Walls are made of gleaming metal, chairs are fashioned from hammered aluminium, space-age lights rotate and swivel from hanging girders and TV screens are fixed into the walls like security monitors. It feels more like you are drinking in the secret headquarters of a James Bond villain, than a Brit-run pub and Indian restaurant! Once you've got used to the unconventional environs though, you are bound to feel right at home. Great food, drinks and atmosphere keep the punters coming back... That and the waitresses in short shirts.
Moskva, (Vabaduse Väljak 10).
Just outside the Old Town, Kohvik Moskva (Cafe Moscow) is perhaps all the better for it, avoiding as it does the plague of stag-groups and tourists that have been known to fester in other bars. Here your chances of meeting Dave and his thirty mates celebrating Dave's 40th birthday are thankfully diminished, and you're far more likely to run into Carmen and her five sexy friends celebrating Carmen's 25th ("Really? You don't look a day older than 19!"). Of course they're there specifically to avoid talking to guys like you, but we're sure that won't stop you. Girls aside Moskva's music policy is amongst the most discerning in town and the prices don't break the bank either... Perfect!
Levist Valjas, (Olevimagi 12).
This famed Old Town cellar is Tallinn's quintessential dive bar: grimy, sticky, sloppy, smokey and seedy; broken furniture, good music, cheap beer. A truly refreshing alternative to Tallinn's plethora of posh and pretentious playgrounds, Levist Valjas pulls in plenty of bohemians and artsy-types, but not until after they've already had a few (after midnight). Love it or hate it, this is a fantastic place to mingle with the laid-back locals and immerse yourself in that most important of cultures - drinking culture. At one time you'd be guaranteed to go home smelling like an ashtray, but since the smoking ban, things just really haven't been the same (sniffle)...
Rock Cafe, (Tartu mnt. 80d).
Whereas most of Tallinn's nightlife can be categorized into trendy bars, meatmarket clubs and upmarket restaurants, it's refreshing to know that there is a place you can go if you fancy a plain old sweaty mosh. So you're unlikely to meet many Carmen Cass-a-likes at the Rock Cafe, but at least you get to trade the relentless bass beat of yet another techno track for the sweet poetry of a well-plucked guitar (Erm, this might sound like a far-fetched metaphor if you happen to have turned up for a thrash metal concert...). Live acts every weekend, a two-floored, industrial interior and great sound system make the Rock Cafe a superior venue of its kind.
Von Krahli Baar, ( Rataskaevu 10/12).
Attached to the experimental theatre of the same , Von Krahli Baar, or 'Krahl' for short, is an excellent pub attracting some equally excellent live music acts from home and abroad. Essentially a brick cellar dive the secret of Krahl's charm is being the perfect antidote to Tallinn's yuppie bar scene: ie. no decor of which to speak, no commercial dance tunes, no exorbitant prices and no airheads mincing about like they own the place. Instead you can sip on your beer, eat cheap grub and listen to some quality musicians rocking the stage... Without any melodrama.
CLUBS
Club Prive, (Harju 6).
Club Prive is undoubtably Tallinn's most exclusive nightspot and the destination of choice for the city's clubbing cognoscenti - with all the pros and cons that come with such a prestigious tag. Door police that make Simon Cowell seem easily pleased and 'metropolitan' prices can be a pain in the proverbial arse - but if you do manage to blag your way into the Studio 54 inspired interior you'll be treated to some of the best sounds in the city! The club was set up by Vibe organisation, whose famous warehouse parties have taken on a romance akin to London's M25 raves during 'the summer of love'. Prive was the name of their VIP area at these parties and became the obvious choice for the name of Vibe's very own venue.
Angel Cafe and Club, (Sauna 1).
Tallinn's first gay club is famous throughout the city for its riotous parties, and as such is also one of the trendiest places to be seen in town. However, unlike many homosexual hotspots, Angel is keen to keep the pretenders and hangers-on out. Yes, that means you girlies! Your long blonde hair may normally see you breeze into bars like a VIP, but here it's a case of talk to the hand. Quite right too - you'd only spoil the fun! Punters that do manage to get past the stringent gay detectors on the door will find a haven of hedonism awaits. Great decor, great music, great crowd and more six-packs than your average Threshers superstore. Meanwhile the adjoining Angel Cafe welcomes all-comers.
Venus Club, (Vana-Viru 14).
Occupying the same building that once housed a Soviet disco in the 1950s, it's fair to say that things have changed here a bit since Stalin's day. Not that we can claim to have been to many Soviet discos, but we're pretty sure they didn't involve this kind of wide-scale debauchery... That was reserved for party members only. The trick lies of course in the free or discounted entry for ladies, meaning there's always plenty of long-legged beauties on the dancefloor. The boys arrive like vultures and hey presto one heaving night club coming right up. Good bar service, party tunes, plus erotic go go dancers have helped cement Venus's status as one of Tallinn's most popular venues.
Terrarium, (Sadama 6/8).
Terrarium proves to be an appropriate name for this animal house, where the writhing of snake-like bodies and the slither of predatory lizards are easily observed by the budding zoologist. Two dancefloors are quickly filled by the young crowds that slither towards Tallinn's passenger port at the weekends, enticed by such alluringly-named themed nights as Ladies Paradise and The Best of the 90s. Be warned though, as the drinks get knocked back and scantily-clad dancers take to the stage the atmosphere is anything but cold-blooded!
Soho, (Ravala pst. 6/ Kaubamaja 3).
Strip clubs are great! Simply follow these instructions for a guaranteed good time: take small piece of plastic, insert in wall, withdraw pieces of paper. Head down to Soho, hand over aforementioned pieces of paper (quite regularly) and - voila! - girls who wouldn't normally touch you with a barge pole will begin to flirt outrageously with you, dance around provocatively and then take all their clothes off. It's a crazy world we live in! This might be just another day in Soho, but at the weekends you can expect cabaret extravaganzas on top - this is Estonia's biggest strip club after all. Meanwhile male strippers cater for clamouring ladies... And 'curious' guys.
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